I started Hey Sis because at the lowest point in my life, it was my sisters who made sure I didn’t drown. Well wait, I take that back. I didn’t start it then. God placed it on my heart then. He placed it deep in my belly. He even gave me the name! (That’s, like a whole ‘nother blog! When God names your baby…). But I struggled for the longest time with it. How to start it, why to start it, who is gonna read it, where is it going, this is dumb, I’m going back to bed, pass the bacon…(mmm bacon)…all thoughts I had. Thoughts to talk me out of what God had given me. Yet it tugged at my heart. I was literally pregnant with my purpose, and it was uncomfortable.
It wasn’t until the news that Bill Cosby allegedly drugged and raped women did my contractions start. Allow me to explain. I was appalled at the response from the public, especially those from women. Women were thee first ones to call the alleged victims liars, whores, money hungry, and the like. I thought to myself, if the alleged victims are in fact victims, then what happens now? We (women) have just shamed them. That’s akin to, like, your family turning their backs on you! Why are we making them feel bad? What message are we sending to other victims, in other cases? We are making it impossible for a woman…a girl….a teenager to get the courage to say “Help me”. And this broke my heart. Think about it: let’s say something awful happened to you, by the hands of another. You finally get up enough nerve to tell, and immediately, without hesitation, you are called a liar. How would that make you feel? What would that do to your psyche? It’s just not right…
Why do we do this to each other? Why do we tear each other down? Without even learning her name, we tear her down. Why? WHY?! A woman walks into a room, we look her up and down, face mugged, don’t speak. Why? Her cuteness does not take away from your cuteness. So why? We sit in the same church service and “worship” together, then get home and talk about each other like complete and utter dogs. Why? You fake pretend you care, gain her trust, then tell all her business before she is out of the room. WHY?! (I’m yelling now)
Not every woman will get what I am trying to do over here. Some women are so hardened by life, so evil, so mean, so hungry for a man, that they quickly forsake the idea of a sisterhoodship (look it up, it’s a word). Some women lack compassion and empathy…sympathy….”. Ain’t nobody help me, I’m not helping anybody else”. It’s a warped mentality…I get why it forms and sticks. But it’s warped and unhealthy. Some women are confused about their roles, and think they should be the one to cover a man…any man, including another woman’s married man. When in actuality, God designed man to cover his wife. But I have to believe there are some women who want to be a part of a community of good women, who want to be better. Women who have morals, and standards…goals and aspirations. Women who believe in honesty and transparency, in correction, in love, in integrity. Women who know they need their sisters.
I am a woman of faith, so I will always come from a spiritual standpoint. But even if you aren’t a Christian, this is also a moral issue. Sisterhoodship is just right!
If she announces she got a new job, congratulate her. If she falls, help her up. If she’s pregnant, throw her a shower. If she is bleeding on social media, inbox her to see if she needs anything. If her child is sick, bring them dinner. If you see her at the bus stop, pick her up. If she’s crying, give her a darn tissue! Why? Not because you want her to be your bestie. Not because you are this great saint. Not because you are better than her. But because you are a woman, and she is a woman, and no one understands the plight of a woman like you. Because you have been where she is, because you know her pain, and her struggle.
Hey Sis…you ARE your sister’s keeper…
now I want bacon…smh