This may be a bit of a ramble…but I have a lot on my mind right now. The word preparation has been heavy in my spirit for a week or so now. I even woke up singing “keep your lamps trimmed and burning, the time is drawing nigh” the other day. WHOOOOOO still sings this song? Why did it pop in my head? Preparation.
I’m trying to finish up a degree I started one hundred and fifty years ago. When I had one year left of school, I got pregnant and had to drop out. I was too sick for 12 of the 9 months I was pregnant and couldn’t sit through a whole class without sweating and puking.
That decision to drop out put me on a course that looked bad, felt bad, looked hopeless, but, what the devil meant for evil…I am exactly where I need to be now. “As for you, you thought evil against me, but God meant it for good…” Genesis 50:20 I’ll try to explain…
It has been prophesied (I’m leery of using that word. take it however you please) more than once that God would use me to help other women. It was a deep, long prophesy but the gist was that my purpose was speaking life to broken women.The first time I can recall, I was in college. I smiled and walked away thinking, I have no time for this, I want to go to that party, that ice breaker etc. The second time I heard it, I laughed. How in the world would God use me?! I was in an unfortunate, dead marriage, repeatedly cheated on and lied to, I had two small babies, and no hope for a future. But God did!
Had I not been so hurt in my marriage, by other women who knew he was married, by people who I called family helping to hurt me, I never would have gone searching in my heart and stumbled on the unforgiveness I had for my father, who hurt me in my childhood (that’s a whole nother post, chile). That’s where I learned to forgive, why to forgive, and what forgiveness is NOT. (<—–Because psychopaths that continually offend you will have you thinking if you don’t continuously let them back in to the place they hurt you, so they can hurt you again, then you haven’t forgiven). Had I never learned to smile through my pain, it never would have dawned on me that there are plenty of people that smile through their’s. Had I never felt so unloved, I never would have appreciated the jewel that is God’s love. Had I never struggled, with no help as a single mother, I never would have realized that God is my source. Not a wusband, not my job, not my bank. God is my source. God provides what I need. It was good that I was afflicted, because THAT is where I met God. Psalms 119:71
I had a conversation on social media with my niecesisterfriend last year. She made a leap of faith and is now teaching in a different country. When she announced it online I said wow, what a leap! (Scary leaps were hard for me to comprehend). She replied you should make a leap too. I asked but what if I fall? And she said, but what if you fly? To this day I don’t know what leap she was referring to, but I knew I was referring to Hey Sis…
I knew that I should be writing. But I didn’t know how to take the leap. I told God I was ready. He began to place people in my life that had knowledge that I could glean from. 2 months later, Hey Sis… was a blog. And it took off. Women I don’t know have stopped me to say what a blessing it’s been. I’ve gotten inboxes and emails that say “Hey Sis is you?! I love that blog”. It’s not me at all. It’s God. And He gets all the glory. God needs you to give him something to bless! Click To Tweet He needs action. Movement is required on your part. I recently prayed over what I thought should be my next leap. And just like before, He placed people in my life that had knowledge. And I gleaned. Because of this, Hey Sis… just became a non-profit, with room to grow. And the classes I’m enrolled in now, not only put me closer to that degree, but also will help me in management and marketing, etc., all things that will help Hey Sis… Had I taken those classes before, I would have been taking it just for the grade, not for the knowledge. But now, as I am in purpose, those classes have purpose!
I don’t know where God is taking me or Hey Sis… but I do know it will be far. And any way that I can prepare, I will do so. Because preparation puts me in position to receive all God has for me!
Psalms 119:65-72 Be good to your servant, God; be as good as your Word. Train me in good common sense; I’m thoroughly committed to living your way. Before I learned to answer you, I wandered all over the place, but now I’m in step with your Word.
You are good, and the source of good; train me in your goodness.
The godless spread lies about me, but I focus my attention on what you are saying;
They’re bland as a bucket of lard, while I dance to the tune of your revelation.
My troubles turned out all for the best— they forced me to learn from your textbook.
Truth from your mouth means more to me than striking it rich in a gold mine.
No truer words have ever been spoken…