I thought I was moving on to my married sisters this week, but I felt I should stay with my single sisters for one more post.
I recently saw a post on social media about not allowing men to put you on “layaway”, meaning one minute he is into you, the next he isn’t so he puts you in layaway until he is ready to be bothered again. I laughed when I saw it, but then the gravity of those words hit me. So many women allow this. Why? Sis listen, the Song of Solomon instructs us not to awaken love until it pleases. In other words, be patient and allow things to progress. Don’t force things.
So often I see single women doing dumb things just to get a boyfriend. Alter routes to work, when you know he’s at the bus stop. His favorite color is purple? You re-do your whole closet so everyday you’re walking around looking like a grape. And you don’t even like the color purple! (Don’t do it Miss Celie!) He likes women in 8 inch heels? You walking around with a struggle walk, looking like a cross between Bambi and OJ. You’re usually a plain Jane bum every day of the week, but you hear he’s going to be somewhere in your vicinity and all of a sudden you paint your face looking like a broke down Ronald McDonald. Girl stop! All for a man who 1. is not your spouse 2. not your boyfriend 3. only calls/texts out of boredom.
If you want to alter yourself, re-invent your image, switch things up, do it for you, not for the attention you are trying to get from someone else!
Stop trying to insert yourself where you are not welcome, invited, truly entertained or genuinely appreciated. Know your worth. You are a daughter of the King. He didn’t create you to chase a man. He created you to be pursued. Your worth is all tied up in being created in His image. Until a man comes along, God-sent, that can see how valuable you are, stay single. I once heard a man say he was so tired of hearing women say “My worth! My worth!”. Stay away from him and anyone that thinks like him! If he can’t see that it’s important for a woman to know she is valuable, it’s not your job to teach him. Chances are he is manipulating the situation. Steer clear. Changing yourself to please someone else, chasing a man, allowing a sexual relationship to be created outside of your marriage, will all bite you in the butt. You are operating in disobedience and acting under a facade, which won’t last. You are also showing how much faith you don’t have in God and His timing. Should you snare that man, and the real you emerges, problems will also emerge. Problems that could have been avoided had you not awoken love before it’s time. Stay patient. And don’t settle. God’s got someone great coming your way. He’s got the perfect man for you. But he will never come, if you force things with the wrong guy. Believe me sis, that pain ain’t worth it.
And if you are in a friendship, courtship, relationship, don’t be anxious. Don’t wake that up either. God will do the awakening in His time. Remember, getting woke up too early makes one cranky!!
Something is better than nothing in a lot of areas. Relationships is not one of them. So just wait!
