There are so many many ministers, prophets, counselors, soothsayers, and relationship experts on social media. They offer advice like “If you can’t accept me for who I am, then I’m gonna be gone!” They add the deuces emoji, the who gone check me boo emoji and the women on social media goes wild. We start responding Yaaaaaas honey, BOOM, adding memes with two snaps and a twirl. But the #girlpower doesn’t stop there. Before we know it, some married sis is at home packing up her pink and purple bag she found on clearance at TJ Maxx (she took that as a sign from God it was ok to leave). She’s packing and crying and feeling empowered and sad at the same time, listening to Mary J Blige, fist in the air. Boobs sitting high from the new bra she found on sale, because you know when your boobs are sitting right you can pretty much conquer anything (Victoria Secret is having a sale, FYI). She has her good spanx on, you know the one…gives you maximum suckage for a snatched waist. Every time she passes a mirror she says “I can do bad all by myself!”. She has the “I am woman watch me sashay on up outta here” type attitude going.
Forget giving it to God. Forget praying…or worse yet, fasting. (Chile SN but I have had to give up bacon before, but only for the most serious of situations. And I was quick to point out to Jesus EVERY TIME that Lord I am giving up bacon. I’m serious! Please move quickly in my circumstance because Giant Eagle has a two-for sale going on the sugardale brand….). Forget waiting to hear from God, getting clearance to leave, or direction on HOW to stay. Sis, don’t you understand that moving outside of God’s will, especially in your marriage is detrimental? Sis don’t you realize your decisions now affect your future, as well as your family, friends, strangers. It affects your lineage. The streets are watching, waiting to see what the “Christian sis” is going to do. This is more than your anger at your spouse. This is your testimony.
Don’t get me wrong. Your feelings are valid! You need more from him? I get it. He doesn’t spend time with you, doesn’t hold your hand, doesn’t come straight home. I get it. You want intimacy, he treats you like all you are to him is sex. You want to date, he doesn’t have time. All these and more, I get. But more importantly God gets it too. Nagging hubby won’t get you anywhere, but more of the same. And packing your bags and leaving only dishonors God. There is a price tag on disobedience that nobody really counts until it’s too late. Stop looking for signs to give up, leave, throw in the towel. And instead look to God’s word for strength and direction. Your covering is there.
Do not allow social media to dictate your life, your decisions, your feelings and viewpoints or your marriage. Some of the advice is good, yes, so take it for what it is. Some of it is good, but good for the single sis. A single sis should consider walking away from a man that does not value her or accept her. He is showing her what her future will be like with him. She has a chance to walk away, choose different. It’s different when you have made the commitment. Covenant. Promise. You don’t get to just pick up and walk away. But you always have the option of turning to God for help. That should be the most exciting thing ever! There’s help. There’s hope. And it ain’t bootleg. It’s Jesus.
Truth be told, there is not a married woman alive that has not at some point rolled over, looked at the back of his head, listened to him snore, and thought “This joker is satan’s son. I’m leaving”. Packed their bags when he wasn’t home. Printed out divorce papers and laid them on the counter, all passive aggressive. (I would tell ya’ll about the sis who drove downtown with her hubby to go peruse the divorce kiosk together…but I’m not). Don’t do it. Be the sis that is honest about her feelings, honest about her situation, but also confident in her God. He listens. He sees. He hears. And He moves.
*Think about that: there is a “how to get divorced” kiosk!!
The enemy wants marriages to crumble. Marriage and family represent Christ and His church. If the enemy can divide and conquer Christian families, then that is one less testimony the church has to witness to the world with. And that’s one huge thing you will be held accountable for on judgement day. Stay. And fight for your marriage.